Dead Memories Vol 4.0

Links for the previous volumes in the series.
I twist and turn all night
kept awake by memories
the ones where wrong and right
have no boundaries

my visuals are rather clear
like it was only yesterday
when I wiped away my first tear
when I begged for you to stay,

Kept holding on to your tether
for no good reason
cause like the changing weather
you were just a passing season

so we waged our wars
while you were looking for fresh starts
and you closed your doors
trying to bury these scars

but little did I know
that all that I ever needed
to simply let go
was to hurt and be defeated

I guess we all need somebody to hurt
and you chose me to be
as dead to you
as I’ve been to me.



A child is hungry
but all he’s fed is lies
as all that he can see
is a world that ignores his cries

For he was born into a world
where gunshots were lullabies
often found curled
under desolate skies

He was told it’ll be okay
he’ll be fine and make it out
but the gods to whom he prays
only deepen his doubt

That the world beyond this
do they really care?
why do they ignore his pleas
and stay silent through his nightmare

And what of his friends?
casualties of political games
what can he defend?
when even his toys burst into flames

How can he believe?
when he’s equipped with an innocent stare
against guns and grenades that make him grieve
when all he’s ever known is despair.



The darkness of the night,
where often, I’d sit and wish,
that someday my will to live,
would perhaps perish

the clock carelessly chimed
as I’d try to get through
to the fears I kept hiding,
and the words that could not subdue,

the chaos in my mind,
and the tears in my soul
the solitude that defined
every action I could not control,

so I stayed awake at night,
plotting, pondering, scheming,
and when the curtains came calling
into darkness, I kept receding,

till the morning light shone,
and I embraced it with a sigh
’twas an ode to a sunny day
’twas another chance to bid goodbye.




I see the sun close out on the river
and feel the wind caress the waves,
a gentle breeze that makes me shiver
reminding me of the days,

where I liked to observe the sunset,
often when I’d like to confine,
watching as the waves beset
calmly against the shoreline

and I’d feel rather secure,
for I could speak of my yesteryear’s
and the crashing of the waves would ensure,
that nobody knew of my fears

the river would glimmer,
as the moonlight put to place,
the silver gleam of summer,
strewn across the surface,

that is when I loved gazing into the horizon,
lost in introspection
I’d see the tide slowly rising
serenading me with my reflection

and I would always refuse,
to accept that it could be,
the reason as to why I’m so confused,
was staring back at me,

and that tells me all I need to know,
about who can save me,
and just as the river flows
I’ll let time set me free.

In Circles

You looked at me one last time,
a fleeting glance, at best,
no words, no witty  remark or rhyme,
just a moment we put to rest,

as you walked away,
we knew it was the end,
there was nothing left to make us stay,
so we picked up the pieces and tried to mend,

our broken souls,
the few fragments we could find,
trying to cleanse ourselves whole,
from each others minds,

and I guess we did succeed,
until once again, we met,
the same coffee shop where we freed,
the memories which made us regret

at first, I was uncertain,
but then it dawned on me,
that we were free from our burden,
and we had set each other free

but that was not the end,
for another street holds that glory,
when I saw you walking with a friend,
and all you could do was avoid me,

and this time, I did not break the ice,
for both of us could clearly see,
you were the versa, I the vice,
of all that we could be

Stare into oblivion,
a narcotic stimulated nightmare,
a wasted millennial
with a begging bowl of despair,

A career in his head,
under construction, he says,
caution, no vision ahead,
the only story he plays,

Obsessions with the past,
tied to splintered ends
memories amassed,
which ones will he defend?

He indulged in virtual therapy,
a waste of time,
followed by lyrical obscurity
regret with a rhyme,

The addictions that he embraced,
were bound to stay,
a chaotic mind that tried to erase,
the virtues that pave his way,

He dreamt of his desires,
and how they faded away,
all that he required,
was hyper depression to end the day.

Continue reading “Nightmare”


Heavily inspired by the song Lazarus by Steven Wilson. The song is about loss and about a mother reaching out to her child from beyond the grave. I attempted to bring forth a version presented from the point of view of the child reaching out to his mother from this realm. It follows a tune similar to the one in the song.
Feedback would be very much appreciated!

As a chilling touch,
scrapes my elbow,
I can feel your icy scent
through the morgue,

and then a voice inside my head,
breaks into a monologue,
you say,

Hold me now,
cause I’ll be gone, nevermore,
as my mind is revealing,
all the things I’d never shown,

Your words still lingers,
they help me cope,
for in the darkness of my world,
you were my hope,

So hold me now,
cause I’ll be gone, nevermore,
as my mind is revealing
all the things you’d never know

So hold me now,
cause I’ll be gone, nevermore,
as my mind is revealing
the time lost in woe,

Oh Mother, I’m so sorry,
I could not hold onto you,
my vision seems so blurry,
tears have run through,

(all these years are screaming, as silence now holds onto you)

So hold me now,
cause I’ll be gone, nevermore,
as my soul is revealing,
all the things i let go,

So hold me now,
cause I’ll be gone, nevermore,
as my soul is revealing
the world I let go…